Girl to her BF: I Like the way you kissed me last night, especially when you passed the gum to my mouth.
BF replies: What gum?.. I just had a bad cough.. PLEMA siguro to..?
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MA’AM: day, sa sunod, ayaw hilabti ang among condom ni Sir nimo ha!!!
INDAY: oy, ma’am, ayaw tawon pasangil ha!, wa jud mi maanad ni SIR mugamit ana!!!....
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MRS.: nganong sige man kag basa sa atong marriage contract?
MR.: (wa magtagad)
MRS.: hoy!..unsa lagi imung gitan-aw?
MR.: ayy! da!.. ako gipangita ang EXPIRY DATE ug naa ba!....
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Question: Paano nabal-an ni PINOCCHIO nga kahoy sya kag hindi real boy?
Answer: NagMastubate ang gago…kundi nagKALAYO… hehehe!
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DAD: Anak, bili mo ko ng Softdrink
ANAK: Coke o Pepsi?
DAD: Coke
ANAK: Diet o Regular?
DAD: Regular
ANAK: Bote o Can?
DAD: Bote
ANAK: 8oz. o Litro?
DAD: PUNYETA! Tubig na lang!....
ANAK: Natural o Mineral?
DAD: Mineral..
ANAK: Bugnaw o dili?
DAD: Lampusan tika aning silhig run…
ANAK: Lanot o Tukog?
DAD: Animal man siguro ka?..
ANAK: Baka o Baboy?...
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LALAKI: Miss, pwede kapangaluyag sa imo?
BABAE: Ngaa may Toyota Revo ka haw? Honda CRV? Mercedez Benz? Ford Expidition kag Pajero?
LALAKI: Yudiputa! Ngaa.. ano putay mo… PARKING SPACE! !
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ASAWA: Love, nay kawatan sa silong naagi!
BANA: Dili ko basin nay posil.
ASAWA: Talawan! Putig itlog!
BANA: Ikaw ray naog didto kay itum kag bilat… hehehe!
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RAPIST: Uba!... Hayang!
GIRL: Maluoy ka gi mens.. ko
RAPIST: Talikod!
GIRL: Maluoy ka gi-almuranas ko
RAPIST: Litse!.. hindi ka maghambal nga ginaTonsil ka!.... hala! Nganga!....
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ANAK: Nay!.. nay!.. me mens na ko!
NANAY: Ano color, aber?
ANAK: Dark Brown nay!...
NANAY: Lintik na bata ‘to! TAE yan. Hala hugas ka ng puwet… ambisyoso kang BAKLA ka!!!...
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A gay was joining the army but came late for the P.E.
The men ahead of him were of naked ready for inspection.
He looked and shouted..
“Dios ko.. mabuang ko!... unsa man ni oist... EAT ALL YOU CAN?...
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A Canadian man called his helper! “You Idiot!”
The helper answered.. . “he he he!.. Ajaw baja saba diha sir uy!.. Unja n lamang ta mag-IDIOT kung wala na si Ma’am!...”
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Bading, may binili sa Mercury....
BADING: Miss may XXL ba kayo na condom?
MISS: Meron po, bibili ba kayo?
BADING: Hindi, aabangan ko ang bibili nyan….!
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GIRL visited her Doctor…
DOC.: You look so weak however happy. Are you taking 3 meals a day as I adviced??...
GIRL: (confused!) Doc., I thought you said 3 MALES a day!...
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